Pregnancy after Prematurity

Being pregnant is such a joy but when it follows having your first pregnancy end in a premature birth it is also so scary and overwhelming. I have been trying to enjoy each and every moment, avoiding the posts online about what ifs and pains, not reading what to expect because lets face it a book pregnancy is not real in any form especially after prematurity.

Over the next month I have 4 appointments at different doctors. A regular check up, labs, 17p shots, and high risk visit. I also have to do a 24 hour baseline urine......the whole peeing in a jug and keeping it in our fridge for a day is not new to me....but I didn't think it would come with this many emotions.

The last day I was pregnant with Maelee I had demanded a urine jug to collect urine, my body didn't feel right and my blood pressure was rising fast. I started collecting at 9:30 am on Friday morning and by 9:30 am Saturday morning I was done. But what happened next was not in the plan for a solution....at 9:35 am on Saturday morning my water broke. And then by 4:24 pm we had our beautiful daughter. And by had I mean she was born and off to the NICU for the next 39 days.

The emotions of doing a baseline urine should be nothing but "gross I have to keep this in my fridge" except I have been here in a bad moment in my life and so my emotions are whirling around. I remember it all so well. I remember the scary moments, the inability to move from swelling, I remember how it hurt to smile. I know this is just a baseline but I can't help but feel taken away by it.

Along with this baseline test I will be having labs drawn, 17p shots started weekly, and more checkups. Pregnancy after prematurity is hard. They tell you to stay calm and relax...but with all these appointments and the constant reminder how my first pregnancy ended I feel overwhelmed.

But I do know that pregnancy after prematurity doesn't have to end in prematurity again. I pray that we go the full 39 weeks (scheduled c-secion), I pray for a safe delivery, but I also pray if this pregnancy ends too soon that the nurses and doctors will be as wonderful this time around as last. I pray for strength, guidance, and balance. I pray for Maelee and that she understands if bed rest occurs, a NICU stay, or just being a big sister and the change it will endure on her. I pray she always knows how much we love her and how proud we are of her.

Becoming a Mommy again is so exciting and yet so scary at the same time! Thankful for my sweet peanut to love and snuggle daily to remind me that sometimes the hardest times in our lives lead to the most miraculous and amazing outcomes!