Dear Lady in the Check Out Line-
I know you have no idea who I am or who my child is. I know you have no idea where we come from or where we are going. I know you have no idea what has happened in our lives over the past 8 months. Yes, My child is screaming right now. Yes, she is uncontrollably hollering and stiff. Yes, she is upset and there is not a thing I can do but pay and pray it will stop.
I saw your eyes when I fought for 10 minutes to get her out of her stroller because her legs were so stiff and she was so upset. I saw you talking to your friend and can only imagine what you were saying. See I understand that to you it seems as though I have a spoiled child and have no control. Well the no control is correct, but spoiled is wrong. Maelee has sensory integration problems and there is nothing I can do to help. Just 5 minutes before a total stranger came up to her and rubbed her legs...something that should not have happened. It sent her into an out of control fit. You look at my beautiful daughter and see nothing wrong, you look at my child and see a healthy 8 1/2 month old. But you don't understand the special needs she is suffering from.
The unknowns we don't have answers for, the hypertonia that affects her on a daily basis, the overstimulation, the sensory sensitivity that strikes her in a second. To you my child is healthy but to me she is not. Please do not judge me, do not judge my parenting. Please do not look at me like I am a terrible person for letting her cry, or that I am a bad Mom because I can't stop her crying. Maelee came into the world too soon and her little nervous system sometimes just needs to cry it out. FYI it took 30 minutes to calm her down, a nap, and a yoga ball.
I pray you will have compassion and understanding from now on but I know better. You see when people hear my child is in therapy they question me, when they hear she has special needs they do not understand, so I don't expect a stranger to get it. I will just keep doing my best to provide for Maelee in every way I know how. I will keep doing what I have been taught and what my heart tells me is right.
Remember the next time you are standing in line and a child cries....those tears may have a very different meaning than you think. Sometimes the tears we cry are filled with much more meaning than one could ever imagine.
Sincerely,
The Mother who Cried Tears of Hurt After Meeting You
Oh, no. What an awful experience for both you and Maelee. My heart goes out to you. If I'd seen you (or someone else in a similar situation) in the store, I hope I would have offered to help. Maybe finish your checkout while you cared for baby, or whatever it is that I could do for you. We all know what it's like to have a screaming baby, and to feel the eyes of the world on you... judging you... not understanding... and especially with a baby who's in Maelee's situation where she is stiff and hurting...
ReplyDeleteWe're continuing to pray for Maelee, even though we don't know you that well and we haven't seen you and your family in months. It's just hit so close to home and it's so easy to have compassion for you, considering that our babies are only a week apart in age! Stay strong and know that prayers go up for that sweet baby.
And please do let us know if there is anything we can do to help. I promise if I see you in the store I will offer a helping hand. :)