Kangaroo Care
My posts may seem out of order and I apologize for this. I wake up each day and whatever I'm thinking about I write about. Today I woke up and thought about how much Maelee has grown from the first time I held her. I can't believe that she is getting so big, it's truly amazing to watch her grow each day.The first time I held Maelee was on 9/7/11, a day I will never forget. For many days I had watched her, touched her, and even gotten to change her diaper but all that I wanted to do was kiss and hold her. We spent each day in the NICU and this would be the last day Lee would be there for the week (he had to return to work so he could have time off when she came home) so we were enjoying each second with our daughter.
The respiratory therapist and nurse had come in to check on her and asked me the questions I had waited so long to hear, "Do you want to hold her?"! YES YES YES!!! OF COURSE I DO! I was so excited that I can't explain the joy that overcame me. I was going to hold my daughter for the first time since she was born!
Kangaroo care is something that is done to promote bonding, help with breastfeeding, regulate temperature, helps with babies heart rate, but the only thing I cared about in this moment was my baby would get to hear my heart beating again. Something that was taken way to soon from her.....and that I would get to feel her against my skin, something I was longing for.
When doing kangaroo care with a baby who has medical needs and many tubes it's something that is done for an extended period of time. It takes many care providers to set you up and you must stay that way- this was explained to me ahead of time and the only thing I could say was you will have to take her from me I am not giving her back! So after a trip to the bathroom and many wonderful nurses to help us out we were on our way to snuggling.
The moment Maelee was laid on my chest I began to cry....it was the moment I had missed during her birth and I couldn't control the emotions. There is no greater feeling than holding your baby for the first time or any time after that!
She had so many little tubes to be careful for. She was still on her bubble c-pap, had an umbilical catheter (where she was getting her nutrition from), heart monitor, oxygen monitor, and a feeding tube. But for those 2 hours (YAY!!!) I didn't see the tubes I just saw my precious daughter in my arms. I kissed her, loved her, snuggled her, rocked her, and most of all I sang to her. The only song that came to my mind was "This Little Light of Mine", and to this day this is the song that calms her and she loves it.
Handing her back that day was hard but I was so excited till the next time. Being in the environment and situation we were in, where I couldn't just pick her up really helped us realize and be thankful for each moment we were able to hold her. I will never take for granted snuggling and holding my baby, I will never get annoyed no matter how tired she is, I will love each and every snuggle, kiss, frustrated moment she may have as long as they are in my arms- I will never let go!
I was able to hold her again the next day for 3 hours while Lee was at work, this was the shortest 3 hours of my life and I never wanted them to end. The evening of the 8th I was asked again if I wanted to Kangaroo with Maelee and although I loved it and would snuggle her for hours I knew that Lee needed to snuggle her. Lee was very scared, she was still small and had tons of wires but I knew this was the best thing for him (her bubble c-pap had been removed and she was on oxygen so I knew this would help him). So the nurses set Lee up and they placed Maelee on his bare chest, an amazing moment I know he will never forget.
Those moments will stick with us forever. No matter how sick she was, no matter the tubes and wires, she was our daughter and we were blessed with a miracle! We loved her from the moment we conceived her and each day it grew and grew and now I can't imagine our life without her. She is truly our little miracle!
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