Do you want to have more babies?

Asking a mother if she plans to have more children is a common question that comes with parenting. This is a question we knew we would be asked and we knew what our answer would be. The problem comes in when people ask in rude, unkind, judgmental, and overall just hurtful ways. Now don't get my wrong we have been asked this by many in a polite fashion but this is my blog and a way to get my feelings out so I am going to address the hurtful things that have been said about this matter.

"You don't want more babies do you? You wouldn't want to do this to another child, would you?"
"I can't imagine you would want to have anymore children after all you put your daughter through."
"You don't know what is going to be wrong with the next one so why would you want another baby?"
"Maybe next time you can do more to prevent this from happening."
......and the list could go on.

I know many will read this and think to themselves that there is no way anyone would say those things. Remember that the next time you are quick to make a statement or a comment....sometimes a little tongue slip can really hurt someone.

When these things were said to me I used to defend myself but I am now ok with the fact that some people allow ignorance to take over and crappy things are said. I did nothing to cause my pregnancy complications. Having a bicornuate uterus was given to me from God when I was born, pre-eclampsia is something my body did without me doing anything, having my water break at 33 weeks was another thing my body did......all these things were under GOD's control and although it wasn't what I wanted at the time I wouldn't trade my situation or my daughter with anyone. She is the blessing through the storm and we are forever grateful she is here with us.

As for more babies. We don't know. Many things will have to be thought about before we even decide to venture down that rode again. As of right now my answer would be no more.....but that may change in 3-5 years. Maelee is a joy and I would love another sweet baby to snuggle on.......

But when I think of pregnancy and birth I don't think the normal happy thoughts. I think of the many doctor appointments I would have since I am high risk, I think of the fear and stress that goes with not knowing what will happen....would I carry to term, would I deliver early, would I deliver even earlier!?!? I find myself thinking about Maelee and how would we manage with a baby in the NICU and a daughter at home!? These are not normal things to worry about but they are the reality we live.

I get sad when thinking I may never have the "normal" pregnancy or birth. I may never carry a baby to term, leave the hospital with my baby when I am discharged, I may never know what breastfeeding is like, I may never know the joy of having a newborn at home, never knowing the lack of sleep from having a baby home instead of not sleeping because your baby is in the hospital. These are all things that I may never have.....but for all those things there are a million more I do have. I have Maelee!