"Maelee is doing amazing!...."

"Maelee is doing amazing! She is transitioning from activity to activity with limited meltdowns. She has improved so much with her tactile defensiveness, when it comes to craft time she will now put both hands in the glue. She is becoming more social with the other children and really loves to sit in circle time. I am so glad you decided to bring Maelee here and I can see the growth in her. Her balance has gotten better and I can see her braces have helped her so much. I just couldn't be more proud and excited for her!"

This is what I heard when picking Maelee up from school on Wednesday! I was so proud of her and couldn't believe the amazing conversation with her play therapist! I thanked her for all she was doing, told her how much I appreciated everything and then walked to the car. After kissing Maelee and praising her for all she has done....I cried! I cried tears of joy, tears of excitement, and tears of love!

This is one of those times you aren't sure if you are doing what's right, should she stay home with me all the time? Should she be going to school when I am at home during the week? Am I doing enough? Can I be doing more? These are questions I ask myself everyday! But on that day I knew I had made the right decision for Maelee! Her school was helping her, her play therapy was helping her, and she was growing as a tiny person!

My Momma heart is bursting with love and amazement!

I love summer time! I love spring time! I love warm weather!!!

We have been spending alot of time outside recently and I feel blessed to be able to watch Maelee play and enjoy the beautiful weather we have been given....it was 89 yesterday! But with the outdoors come experiences Maelee is not accustomed to and in turn her sensory goes crazy!

Grass is something we don't even think about. It grows and we walk on it, the dogs potty on it, and the weeds take it over everyyear but to Maelee this grass thing is all new and she let us know! Maelee is walking so good with her braces and is able to walk through the yard without falling a ton....but when she falls if you don't wipe those hands immediately watch out! The grass becomes her enemy and our enemy. She meltsdown and is hard to gather back together again.

I love being outside and keep taking Maelee with me in hopes that the scream will lessen, she won't freeze as much from the grass touching her, in hopes that she and I learn to cope with this misfortune. It saddens me to think that something so typical for everyone becomes a nightmare for her. But I do know that she will work through it and we will help her the best we can. She loves to play outside but is perfectly fine staying to the deck or the pavement. We won't force herto love the grass, won't stick her hands in a sand box, we will help her when she is ready to love those things...or just have a like for them.

Everything has been amazing this spring! Watching Maelee ride her little four wheeler outside, planting flowers while she chops my new flowers with her princess shovel, and most of all the smiles when the wind in blowing in her face! The sun is sometimes a bother but she will cover her eyes and let us know- and she looks so precious in her shades!

International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day!!! May 15th :)

This post was written 12/1/2011. Sharing today in honor of International Kangaroo Care Awareness Day, May 15th!

Kangaroo Care

My posts may seem out of order and I apologize for this. I wake up each day and whatever I'm thinking about I write about. Today I woke up and thought about how much Maelee has grown from the first time I held her. I can't believe that she is getting so big, it's truly amazing to watch her grow each day.

The first time I held Maelee was on 9/7/11, a day I will never forget. For many days I had watched her, touched her, and even gotten to change her diaper but all that I wanted to do was kiss and hold her. We spent each day in the NICU and this would be the last day Lee would be there for the week (he had to return to work so he could have time off when she came home) so we were enjoying each second with our daughter.
The respiratory therapist and nurse had come in to check on her and asked me the questions I had waited so long to hear, "Do you want to hold her?"! YES YES YES!!! OF COURSE I DO! I was so excited that I can't explain the joy that overcame me. I was going to hold my daughter for the first time since she was born!
Kangaroo care is something that is done to promote bonding, help with breastfeeding, regulate temperature, helps with babies heart rate, but the only thing I cared about in this moment was my baby would get to hear my heart beating again. Something that was taken way to soon from her.....and that I would get to feel her against my skin, something I was longing for.
When doing kangaroo care with a baby who has medical needs and many tubes it's something that is done for an extended period of time. It takes many care providers to set you up and you must stay that way- this was explained to me ahead of time and the only thing I could say was you will have to take her from me I am not giving her back! So after a trip to the bathroom and many wonderful nurses to help us out  we were on our way to snuggling.
The moment Maelee was laid on my chest I began to cry....it was the moment I had missed during her birth and I couldn't control the emotions. There is no greater feeling than holding your baby for the first time or any time after that!
She had so many little tubes to be careful for. She was still on her bubble c-pap, had an umbilical catheter (where she was getting her nutrition from), heart monitor, oxygen monitor, and a feeding tube. But for those 2 hours (YAY!!!) I didn't see the tubes I just saw my precious daughter in my arms. I kissed her, loved her, snuggled her, rocked her, and most of all I sang to her. The only song that came to my mind was  "This Little Light of Mine", and to this day this is the song that calms her and she loves it.
Handing her back that day was hard but I was so excited till the next time. Being in the environment and situation we were in, where I couldn't just pick her up really helped us realize and be thankful for each moment we were able to hold her. I will never take for granted snuggling and holding my baby, I will never get annoyed no matter how tired she is, I will love each and every snuggle, kiss, frustrated moment she may have as long as they are in my arms- I will never let go!

I was able to hold her again the next day for 3 hours while Lee was at work, this was the shortest 3 hours of my life and I never wanted them to end. The evening of the 8th I was asked again if I wanted to Kangaroo with Maelee and although I loved it and would snuggle her for hours I knew that Lee needed to snuggle her. Lee was very scared, she was still small and had tons of wires but I knew this was the best thing for him (her bubble c-pap had been removed and she was on oxygen so I knew this would help him). So the nurses set Lee up and they placed Maelee on his bare chest, an amazing moment I know he will never forget.

Those moments will stick with us forever. No matter how sick she was, no matter the tubes and wires, she was our daughter and we were blessed with a miracle! We loved her from the moment we conceived her and each day it grew and grew and now I can't imagine our life without her. She is truly our little miracle!

A Mother's Day Treasure

Mother's Day 2012 is a day I will always remember! Maelee was baptized that morning and we finally got to share her with the church family who had loved her from the moment she was born. But that afternoon while installing baby gates with Lee and my dad I heard the most sweetest voice and it melted my heart! Being her Momma is the most wonderful gift and blessing I have ever been given!

Mother's Day 2012

Mother's Day 2013

I am just a Mom....

I am just a Mom..... WOW what a loaded sentence. Yesterday while being asked why I have on green bracelets I of course spread awareness and told this person about our precious Maelee. I told them about her amazing personality, her CP, and all the accomplishments she has made and then they said...."You are a super Mom". Woah!

I responded with this simple but loaded statement, "I am just a Mom". She continued to say no you are a super Mom, look at all you have been through and do for your child so I responded 3 times by saying "I'm just a mom."

Being a Mom is the best job...no wait career I have ever been given. I do not have special powers, or fly from roof tops, no super hero cape over here.  I do what is needed to give my child the best chance at an amazing life, and that is what Moms do. Yes our situation may be different, while you are at soccer games we are at therapy or praising Maelee for using her left hand. 

I am a Mom first, wife second, daughter third, and friend to many....oh and a nurse! :) I spend my days researching the best therapy, different treatments, medications, activities to enroll Maelee in to help her, and witnessing her miracles and growth. Yes I know that the typical Mom does not research daily for medical things but they do research daily for things to help their child grow as a person and reach amazing goals. This could be sports, music, summer camp, the right church, play dates, etc. 

It may seem that I am being cheated out of typical parenting but I promise you I have not been cheated or missed anything. The one thing Maelee has shown us is to appreciate every small thing in life. So the next time you are at the ball field, dance recital, park, shopping with your children, or just laying on the couch put down that phone, shut the computer, and take in every second. Look at how amazing they move, how their minds have grown and become so smart, enjoy the laughter and their ever changing smile as they grow. Look at their hands and feet and realize how tiny they once were for you are witnessing a miracle each second of their life. 

You are just a Mom! I am just a Mom! Enjoying our babies is the most spectacular gift we have been given. Celebrate every milestone like its the most amazing thing you have ever seen. Praise your children with love and hugs. But most of all just be their Momma for you are "Just a Mom" and that encompasses more than people can imagine.

My heart! :)